A different kind of church

Sunday mornings have never been about sleeping in around my house.  Except for instances of college, illness, or vacation, Sunday mornings have been up-and-at-em time for church.  Today, both my husband and I are under the weather.  Not enough to stay in bed, but enough not to bring our germs to church.  Which is good, because since my son is feeling just fine, staying in bed is not an option anyway.

So after breakfast today, I went out for a walk.  It's a sunny, cold morning, enough that I could cover my bed-head with a hat, but not so cold that it was unpleasant. I haven't been exercising much lately because of my work schedule, so it's just as well that I wasn't up for a full jog today.  With some good tunes in my headphones, turned down just low enough to hear the birds, and some alone time to hear myself think, I got to spend some time churching in a whole different way.  I missed seeing my church family today, but sometimes it's good to change it up a little and see things when it's quiet.  Happy Sunday, all.

...and then stop thinking.

I went for a run tonight with no distractions: no music, no GPS, nothing.  In the absence of distraction, my brain was overflowing with things I didn't want to think about, including the desire to be done running.  I have no idea how far I ran or how long I was gone.  But after about halfway of whatever that final distance was, I was too tired to focus on anything but my own breathing, yet not tired enough to quit.  So I kept going until tired was winning.  And then I went a little more.  In total brain silence.

In my life leading up to this year, I have never considered myself a runner.  I was a two-sport varsity athlete for four years of high school, and couldn't run long distances.  I kept in on-and-off shape in college, and couldn't run long distances.  I played beach volleyball for six months a year for five years of adulthood, and I couldn't run long distances.  I have been exercising relatively regularly for about seven months now after a two-year parenting hiatus, and all of the sudden, I can run longer distances.  It's certainly not magic.  I've been working hard, losing weight, building muscle, so it makes logical sense that it is improving my distance running.  But after a lifetime of defeat, I cannot wrap my brain around this new ability.

As I sat stretching and recovering, I considered what I just did, and was really fascinated about the idea that when I stopped thinking and kept pushing, it just worked.  Much of what I have been doing the last seven months has been P90X, which has done amazing things for me.  In the yoga workout, there is a point where you are standing tall on your toes and reaching toward the ceiling.  To help keep balance, Tony Horton (the guy responsible for the P90X workout), says "Don't think about your feet on the floor, think about your hands in the air.  And then stop thinking."  And it works every time.  I go from wobbly and shaky to stiff as a board, just like that.  The power of anti-thought.

Am I on to something here?  Is this what I need to do in other situations too?  Consider parenting.  A good friend asked me how it works, how you are able to put it all aside, the exhaustion, frustration, scheduling, etc., to be a parent.  I think about childbirth, sleep deprivation, hour-long temper tantrums, balancing stressful work days with calmer family time, and I know I have used that same strategy.  Too tired to focus on anything but my own breathing, and not tired enough to quit, so I just keep going.  I think this is a solid strategy for sports.  For other areas of life, I'm not so sure.  But it's an honest strategy, and I would hazard a guess that I'm not alone in using it. Unfortunately, it works well for the short-term, but completely unravels in the long haul.  It's helpful when your newborn is crying at 10 pm, 2 am, and 5 am.  Don't think, just do.  It's not helpful when your schedule is so full that you forget the plans you just confirmed 24 hours ago.  Must think, can't do.  There's a balance there somewhere that I just haven't found.  Better go for a longer run.

On a roll

If you're writing an article about how to find more "me" time, chances are good that your audience is a group of pretty busy people.  So I had to laugh when I read some "creative" tips.  The first was to set my alarm a half  hour earlier, the second was stay up later at night.  I don't know what the other ones were, because I quickly realized it was not worth my time.  If I had that kind of flexibility, I wouldn't need to read the article.  4:45 a.m. til 10-ish is plenty of hours to be awake already, thank you.  WOW am I thankful I've been able to carve out some time without the sage advice of that author.

I'm happy to report that exercise has finally found an audience in our house again.  Luckily my husband accepted my challenge to eat better and exercise more with me, because I think we're both better off when the other is involved.  The trade-off is that our days have been extended, and the relaxing part of the evening has gotten much shorter.  After our family dinner, one of us takes on bath and toddler tv time, and the other heads off to do whatever the exercise is for that evening.  Then we switch, and one puts our son to bed while the other is off.  Though if I'm doing bath time, I normally don't exercise those nights, because by the time it is my turn I've already been awake for 15 hours and am starting to shut down.  So once the parenting, chores, and exercise is done, it's almost 9:00 and that's that.  Imagining this schedule for the rest of my life is pretty daunting, but I realize I won't always work the schedule that I do, and I won't always have a child that is completely dependent on me, and this won't be the only way to fit in exercise.  I've accepted this craziness for now.  Also, if I can do this when it's cold and dark outside, lighter and warmer days will only help.

I don't have a set routine or plan, I just want to make sure I'm spending 30-45 minutes a few days a week doing something exercise-related.  Anything more specific, more targeted, and I will probably fail.  At earlier times in my life, this would have been unacceptable.  There were strategic attacks, well-calculated, with a specific end goal.  I'm proud of myself that I am just trying to be healthy, and that's enough.  It's hard enough to accomplish that without sacrificing the family time that is so important, so I'm completely comfortable leaving it at that.

That doesn't mean the competitive beast in me isn't still hanging around.  I still pay attention to how I'm doing and if I'm raising the bar each time.  I use the CardioTrainer App on my phone to keep track of time, distance, calories, etc., and it really is a motivating tool for me.  I also post the work-out updates to Facebook, which I'm sure is annoying to most and nobody cares, but it keeps me accountable to myself.  Just the illusion that the collective "someone" knows when I do and don't exercise gets me up and moving when the couch and my slippers are much more inviting.  I've kept this up for about two months now, which has broken all kinds of wimpy records set in the past three years.  Combined with some major diet changes, (more on that another time), results are obvious and exciting.  Want to help?  Hold me accountable.  Ask me how it's going.  Mention it when you haven't seen any work-out blogs or posts lately.  Join me so I can do the same for you.