They

...are the reason this blog has remained quiet for a year.
...are similar and completely unique.
...make chugging a cold cup of coffee normal.
...inspire me to cook, innovate, be intentional, and create.  and suck all of the energy away that I have to do those things. sometimes by 6:45 a.m.
...are 6, 2, and 2.
...make me one of millions in a community of parents who share a bond over this relationship we live.
...can turn my house from tidy to Armageddon in 2.4 seconds.
...are responsible for making sure I have someone else's food or drink on my person at all times. (and by "on my person," I don't mean a closed sippy cup or neatly wrapped snack in my purse)
...have made my marriage stronger and harder.
...were all cloth-diapered and breast-fed.  and made the day I donated my Medela pump one of the happiest of my parenting existence. and I'm really proud of sticking to what I thought was best.
...make me cry.  proud tears, nostalgic tears, exhausted tears, doubting myself tears.  again, sometimes all by 6:45 a.m.
...eat a lot of groceries. so. many. gallons. of. milk.
...have re-shaped my body in some unfortunate ways.  and made me care less about that and more about keeping it healthy enough to be around to see grandchildren.
...have given me a deep appreciation for the beauty of well-written children's books and programming.
...make it hard to keep up with the things it takes to be a grown-up.  the amount of important everything that I forget on a daily basis is staggering.
...can make a day seem like it will never end while simultaneously making me wonder how they are growing up so fast.
...are a really good cover for keeping things like mac n' cheese, oreos, chicken nuggets, and string cheese in the house.
...make putting them first a mostly guilt-free decision.
...are all in bed.

Love in the Time of Mashed Bananas

All it took was a few ice bullets.

I've been scanning few articles lately about marriage.  This time of year it is a popular editorial and blog topic with so many newlyweds back from their summer honeymoons.  Articles about what it takes to have a happy marriage, to stay together, to not get bored, to fight less, to love more, to make it through rough times, to be a team during parenting, etc. etc. etc.  I have a few years of marriage under my belt now, so I can look at those and laugh, scoff, agree, shake my fist, and have a bit of confidence that I know a thing or two.  There is no one answer that works for every couple for anything, no matter how many lists try to tell you otherwise.  One thing that all of those articles have in common, though, is that none of them mentioned ice bullets.

My husband and I have three kids.  A five-year-old son and twin eight-month-old daughters.  We have full-time jobs.  Right now, there is not much life outside of those two topics. Our time together is spent juggling children and everything that goes with them.  During this season of life there is no time or money for dates, presents, vacations, clothes without spit-up or conversations longer than three sentences.   If I'm being honest, marital health is pretty low on the list of things either of us think about on a regular day (as far as I can tell, anyway).  But it is vital for us to remember each other every now and again, even if it is in the middle of a three-ring-circus.

Our ice-maker in the freezer sprung a leak a few weeks ago, so the hose was disconnected until it could be replaced.  Suddenly it was June and summer and no ice.  Sure, the fridge keeps beverages cold enough, but sometimes in the summer I just really like ice in my drinks.  (why didn't we just use old-fashioned ice trays, you ask?  because we got rid of them long ago.  who needs ice trays when you have an ice-maker in your freezer?)  So every couple of days I would mention how much I missed ice.  Then my husband would mention that it would be an easy fix, he just needed the time to get to the store to buy it and fix it.  Repeat. Time is in short supply, and we still don't have ice.

Yesterday I was prepping all of the supplies needed to batch cook and puree baby food.  We have special trays for freezing the food in small portions, and I looked all over the kitchen without finding the one I needed.  After I yelled into the general vicinity of baby shrieking and toy crashing to inquire if he knew where it was, he walked in with a sheepish grin and said that he was trying to do something nice for me, but I had spoiled the surprise.  I was in the middle of work-mode and completely taken aback that he was talking about nice surprises when I just needed a baby food tray.  He pulled the tray out of the freezer full of mostly-solid, glorious ice chunks in what looked like over-sized bullets from the shape of the holders.  That seemingly mundane act of freezing water, in this time of our lives, held the equivalent weight of a dozen roses and a romantic dinner out.

So, bloggers, journalists, and women's magazine headline-writers, there's your next scoop.  How do you show affection to your spouse when you haven't slept past 5:30 am or eaten hot food for dinner in the past year?  Listen for the little things.  And ice cubes.

Keeping it simple

A handful of my mom-friends have spouses that travel regularly for work.   There are a multitude of single parents out there who always take care of their kids on their own.  I have nothing but the utmost respect and awe for all of them, because on the rare occasions that my husband is out of town for a few days, it gets challenging around here.  One positive thing for me, though, about solo parenting for a brief amount of time is that I allow myself to shut off the angry gnome and the to-do list, pretty much because there is no choice.  So even though it might appear to be hectic, it actually kind of calms down for me mentally.  But during this last week while hubby was away, I began to consider the simple things in my life that would disappear if I had to parent on my own for longer than a few days.

• Clothes without wrinkles.  This requires getting laundry out of the dryer, folding, and hanging as soon as it is done.  That rarely happens even with help.
• Meals made with more than four ingredients.  I barely even wanted to bother with cooking fresh vegetables, which adds two minutes to the cooking routine.
• Sleeping more than 5-6 hours a night.  Again, I find that challenging as it is, and it would only get worse.
• Gardening, weeding, watering, pretty much anything that requires regularly tending to the nature outside of this house.  
• Watching tv that is not animated.
• Shopping for myself.  Internet all the way.  Maybe it fits, maybe it doesn't.
• Printing the pictures I take.  No chance.
• Keeping plants alive.  What's the problem, I just watered you last month?
• Feeling relaxed.  Ever.

To all of you who do this on a daily basis and do it so well, many, many kudos to you.  Hubby, I appreciate all that you contribute to this organization and would like you to consider signing another long-term contract. You don't need any vacation time, though, right?

For my boys

This blog is a lot about me.  Sure, there may be some anecdotes about you guys now and again, but the whole purpose of this blog is to celebrate me doing things I want to do.  I know you support this endeavor, but just in case there is every any confusion, let me set the record straight.

To my amazing husband:  You married the person I was almost nine years ago.  And yes, while I agree that I have become oh so much better with age, as have you, there still were a lot of things about nine-years-ago me that were awesome.  So I'm trying to get to a blend of them both, kind of a Me 2.0.  I know that you like this idea and want me to continue, but just to be clear, this is not an escape from anyone or anything.  You know that more than anyone, I suppose, because you are a part of, or right next to, all of the activities that I write about.  Assuming that you read them.  Sorry, just couldn't resist that one.  A joke filled with love :)

To my beautiful son:  One day you might actually read this blog.  Such a strange thought today, but it won't seem strange for long.  And you'll probably read my Facebook posts too, because oh yes, I will be a friend, and I will know your password so that I can jump on in and check your stuff at any old time.  There will be SO many things you will see about you.  Some good, some frustrating, some funny, some sentimental.  And no matter how much I might talk about the challenge of parenting, there aren't enough years on this planet to talk about the joys.  Please don't think that any part of this whole me blog is any statement about wishing for a different lifestyle.  Knowing that you watch every single move I make and hear every word I say is the single most motivating thing for me wanting to better myself.  I want you to know who I am, not just as your Mom, but as a person, and I want us both to be proud of who that person is.

And then there is you, Hoosier.  Not to worry, you have not been forgotten, though I think we all know you spend a little more time watching and waiting for us than any of us would like.  You were the first baby of this family, albeit a fuzzy one, and even though you're not quite the crazy pup you used to be, you're still always going to be our first puppy.  As soon as this whole exercise topic improves, you will definitely benefit from that too, because there's a big world out there with all kinds of paths to be sniffed.

Even without enough exercise, time to read, time to cook, etc etc, I am definitely a much better version of me than I was nine years ago.  That version didn't have the three of you.  I had NO idea what was coming.  Wonder what the eight-years-in-the-future version of me has in store?