A different kind of church

Sunday mornings have never been about sleeping in around my house.  Except for instances of college, illness, or vacation, Sunday mornings have been up-and-at-em time for church.  Today, both my husband and I are under the weather.  Not enough to stay in bed, but enough not to bring our germs to church.  Which is good, because since my son is feeling just fine, staying in bed is not an option anyway.

So after breakfast today, I went out for a walk.  It's a sunny, cold morning, enough that I could cover my bed-head with a hat, but not so cold that it was unpleasant. I haven't been exercising much lately because of my work schedule, so it's just as well that I wasn't up for a full jog today.  With some good tunes in my headphones, turned down just low enough to hear the birds, and some alone time to hear myself think, I got to spend some time churching in a whole different way.  I missed seeing my church family today, but sometimes it's good to change it up a little and see things when it's quiet.  Happy Sunday, all.

Chapters

Life can be separated by many different generic stages.  Childhood / Young Adult / Adult/ Senior.  Pre-college / College / Post college.  Single / Married.  Pre-kids / Post-kids / Post-grand-kids.  Jobs / Career.  Today I came upon the idea that I can also break my life into chapters based on church.  We worshiped with our Goddaughter and her family at the church we transferred from about a year ago, and sitting there was a very pleasant reminder to me of where I've been.

So far I have spent most of my life in three different churches.  For most of my childhood I attended the same church, which I almost now consider my parents' church.  I find it kind of odd that I view it that way, since I went through first communion, confirmation, graduation, and my wedding at that church, which encompasses about half of my life.  But I guess in all things, once you're an adult you feel more ownership of the things that you do, rather than just being a tag-along. So that church now, which was such a constant for so many years, has become Chapter 1.

Present day, Chapter 3, we are at a new, well, new to us, church.  We have been there about a year, and really just starting to get more involved and take ownership of our role as members.  It will be the first church my son remembers, and maybe even the one he looks back on and dubs his parents' church.  Chapter 2, then, is the church we visited today.  That was the first church my husband and I joined together after we were married.  I think we were there about six years, until a few months after our son was baptized.  I sat there looking around and couldn't help but think about the people we were during the time we spent there.  What was happening, how we lived, who we spent time with.   I sat with my little blessing on my lap, staring at the same cross at the front of the church that I stared at for all those prayers to bring him safely into our lives.

The person staring at each of those three different crosses at the front of each church is so very different.  The first was filled with the confusion and distraction of everything that goes into growing up.  The second was consumed with marriage and home ownership and work and family.  Well, I supposed the third is currently consumed with the same types of thoughts, but at a different stage.  I'm not quite the newbie to any of that anymore like I was then.  But I recognize now what I didn't then, that things are happening.  Now that the book is a little longer, there are more chapters to show me where this story is going.

Sometimes it's just that easy

I'm amazed at my obliviousness sometimes.  Here I am, going about trying to come up with just the right plan/time/process to spend more time reading the Bible.  And the answer that swings in and hits me on the side of my head?  My two-year-old.  Nine times out of ten when he wants to read a book, he goes to his Bible.  His was a gift from the church at his baptism.  We've never told him he should read it every day, he knows nothing of the rest of us grown-ups adding "read more Bible" to countless to-do lists, he just loves that book.  He can flip through the whole thing, point to a picture and tell me the story.  Could I point to a chapter in the Bible and do that?  Not many of them.  So tonight as we were rocking in his chair before bed, reading about Jesus and Mary, I almost stopped and laughed when I realized that I, in fact, have been reading the Bible every day.  So it's got pictures, and the stories are paraphrased and a bit happier than my tiny text version, but does that matter?  Certainly not.  Sometimes it's just that easy.

Try, try again

I had a really good idea.

Shortly after Christmas, I was at the library for the first time in about two years.  The last time I was there was to pay a $50 fine and give them a copy of the police report I filed after someone stole my keys, including the mini library card attached, and checked out a LONG list of books that they never had any intention of returning.  Since I haven't been reading much since then, it took me until now to get back there and get a new library card.  So I was at the library, and came across the Bible on CD.  Actually many CDs, 60 to be exact.   So I picked up the CDs, and decided I could put them in my car to use them during my commute.  That would be an hour a day more of the Bible than I would otherwise accomplish.  Surely this was the solution to my struggles of incorporating more time for reading the Bible.

As I checked out the binder of CDs, I confirmed the due date with the librarian, and when I commented that I probably wouldn't finish them all in three weeks, she made a comment that is both true and bothersome.  She said that I could just renew it, because she was pretty sure there wouldn't be a big rush on people wanting to have it as well.  While I know that is true, there is never going to be a long line of people out the door to check out 60 CDs of someone reading the Bible, I guess I just found it disheartening the way she said it with such a snarky tone.

But off I went with my massive binder of Bible CDs.  I have a 6-disc player in my car, so I loaded up all but the first.  (The first slot is reserved for the Wiggles, and a certain someone who regularly rides in the back seat would not be pleased if that was removed.)  For a week, both to and from work, I listened.

I had problems.  There are many versions of the Bible, and this CD compilation happened to use the King James Version.  I doth have-eth a very difficult time-eth understanding-eth this version.  So listening to these CDs required pretty strong concentration, and many times I missed the point of the words I was hearing because it was almost being spoken in a language I can't understand.  I also found myself drifting away to unrelated thoughts as the reader went along, and while I got the gist of where in the Bible we were, what story was being told, I was definitely missing the message.  And there really is something I missed about sitting and reading the words on the page, re-reading and absorbing the verses as I go along.

After a week, I stopped.  I knew that for me, this wasn't the right way to do this.  But I struggled with giving in, because I have not been able to find a consistent way to continue reading the Bible.  I read portions on Sundays.  I read portions at the occasional small group or Bible study.  But beyond that, I struggle.  I was reminded today at church, however, that reading the Bible from cover to cover is not what saves me.  Reading the Bible shouldn't be a "to-do" on my checklist.  Until I can find a way to spend meaningful time learning and applying the messages in that book, just reading it to read it is pointless.

So I'm returning the CD's this week.  Maybe the librarian was wrong, and there actually is a person out there who wants these.  They, most likely, need these more than I do, because this just didn't work for me.  I don't know what to try next when it comes to this topic.  But I bet if I stop trying to do it myself, stop listening to the words and start hearing the message, it will be a good start.